Do animals in the wild have fatal accidents? Do they perform acts of negligence that lead to an otherwise healthy creature dying? Are humans the only ones who are capable of conscious willingness to deprive their fellow animals of care?

We humans have failed our world in more ways than I can count. Today, we have failed specifically a needful dog, his last given name of “Beethoven”. He was failed from a pup, and humans again failed him as an old dog.

I’ve fostered dogs and cats off and on for 20 years. There are many sad cases out there, and many happy stories. A local humane society put out a plea for help. They were over-crowded and that only means one thing for these poor, unwanted animals.

Through a rescue group I work with regularly, we arranged for me to foster one of their over-flow dogs. A couple of Saturdays ago, I picked up a sweet but fairly untrained, older Heeler / Husky / Whoknowswhat mix. He had spent at least the last few weeks at two different humane societies in the state. The first was a high-kill shelter, and as far as anyone knew, his only fault was being old. He was a bigger dog than I’ve been fostering lately. Due to Pugsly’s diminutive stature, it’s often advisable to foster like-sized pups. But, the shelter needed help, and he seemed nice, so we all went home.

Beethoven had been with us for almost a week. He was clingy and anxious, but cuddly and friendly. He’d been good with Pugsly and with my neighbor’s dogs. I don’t know why he attacked me and my sweet Pugsly that Thursday night.

He punctured Pugsly through her cheek into her maxillary sinus. She will be okay, and I can’t capture with words how important that is to me. It was pure luck that I’d changed out of my work slacks and into my sturdy blue jeans. There was not a rip anywhere. My leg is badly bruised, with a number of deep teeth marks, and where the teeth had been against my jeans are bad abrasions. But I didn’t lose any flesh.

We were lucky.

It was triggered by something deep in his fractured psyche. One hypothesis is that the shelters who housed him accidentally for poor communications doubled up on his vaccines, causing a physical and mental break. Another idea is that he was broken somewhere a long time ago, and certain smells triggered that uncontrollable and terrifying anxiety.

Whatever it was, he was a victim. He was a dog. He didn’t have menace or ill-will. He was not angry at me because I didn’t give him an extra treat the night before. He acted on instinct or psychosis. We’ll never know, because we humans failed him every step of the way.

I’m sorry, sweet and troubled dog, whoever you were.

Animal control picked him up from my neighbor’s fenced front yard that night.

R.I.P. July 29, 2015



Pugsly and I left our little cottage at 3:45pm yesterday and pointed north to a now familiar drive.

Before this, I’d been to the Grand Canyon twice. Once when I was around nine years old with my mom and grandparents.I think we arrived at the North Rim. It was somewhere around 1980, and there were no Winnebagos, shopping centers, or crowds of tourists gathering like ants along the Rim.
It was quiet. Just us.

There was a storm on other side of the Canyon, and I was amazed at how we could so clearly see the rain coming down.A rainbow appeared near the storm and my little child brain nearly exploded with excitement at the sight of such beauty.
That trip is what cemented the South West as a Magical Place in my mind.

The only other time I’d been to the Canyon was when I was 19.
My then-boyfriend and I had traveled from Southern Illinois to spend the summer outside of Albuquerque in Rio Rancho (when it was first being developed.
There was a gas station, a handful of new houses, maybe two restaurants, and a grade school). Then we drove from Rio Rancho over to visit friends and family in California.

It was just past sunrise when we arrived at the Canyon.
Summer of 1989 and there were no tourists watching the morning awaken across the vast…big hole. We weren’t impressed.
It was a National Lampoon moment, and we left.

I have a feeling that the just-past-sunup light made the Canyon appear flat and diffuse.
That, or our sleep-deprived late-teen/early-20s brains didn’t care to take it in.
Whatever it was, I hadn’t been back to that big hole until two weekends ago with Pugsly and Kerry doggies.

Now, I have been to that Canyon, South Rim, more times in the past couple of weeks than I care. I’m tired of the immense beauty. I’m tired of the cool pines. I would give up ever going back to that natural wonder if Kerry dog would return safely to me.

Yesterday was a fruitless search.
I knew it would be, but I seem to have a habit of tilting at windmills.
Perhaps I should name my truck “Rocinante

Pugsly and I walked the perimeter of the out-of-use water tank fenced in area that connects to the foresty area that borders the Market where I last saw his funny looking old man face. There was no tuft of black hair caught on a pointy fence from where he’d crawled under. Pugsly’s paws didn’t leave any marks in the damp soil, so I know with certainty that lighter Kerry wouldn’t leave tracks.

That was my last drive up there to look for Kerry dog.
Without a sighting there is truly little I can do but wait.
I can keep emailing the Canyon Rangers, localish shelters and rescue groups, and keep his information up on Craigslist and a few ‘lost doggie’ websites.

I don’t know that I believe in “Please keep him in your thoughts and envision him safely back home” but I suppose it can’t hurt. If we truly are made up of intertwined and connected particles, then thought is reality and sending those images of Kerry safe and happy in my arms will help. If you believe in a God, perhaps ask for a favor for this sweet little guy who never hurt anyone but was dumped by his owner of nine years to our Rescue Group, and place into my care.
Whatever it is to bring him safely home, I’m hoping for that.

Kerry dog gone missing

Kerry dog went missing while we were camping at the Grand Canyon Village this past weekend (05/30/2015). He disappeared Saturday morning around 8:30am.

If you are going up there, or know anyone who is, please keep an eye out for this timid, sweet, little guy. I’m hoping that his hunger wins out over his fear of people (and everything) and he approaches someone for help. Soon.

$500 REWARD for his safe return.
He was last seen at Grand Canyon National Park Village
Between Market Plaza and up South Entrance Road a couple of miles (not to Central) Maybe near Trailer Village (which is right next to the Market)?

He’s very timid, but not aggressive!
Small black Shih-Tzu x pug mix, KERRY.
Please contact

Send Email
 to Golden Bone Rescue  and/or
Send Email
 me or contact me thru razorgirls
call / text 773-988-6788