self-defense

As I was walking the dog tonight (on a glorious, shining, beautiful desert evening) with my mace/pepper spray lodged in my belt-loop as usual, I realized that I don’t need mace or my gun or even my bad-ass attitude… all I need to do is make sure the dog poops early on in the walk and I have all the protection I need: a big ole bag of smelly dog poop. (is “smelly dog poop” redundant?)

The way I figure, if someone has the audacity to attack me and actually gets past my dog (for those of you who know me and my dog, you know he’s got a temper similar to mine) I will have a handfull of dog crap ready to smear in this jerk’s face or whatever I can shove it. That’s gotta be a pretty good defense.

But then again, nuthin’ my .40 couldn’t take care of….

health care

After establishing residency by living here for a year, I applied for state health care. Under-employed and wanting to have a doc, I jumped through the hoops, answered the questions, filed the paperwork and poof! I’m covered. (Is this “socialized health care”? If so, I’ll take it.)

Until last week, it’s been very smooth. I picked out a doctor who had offices not far from my home, made appoitments, saw my doc within minutes of arriving to her office.

Last week, I received a notice that my doc is no longer with the Physician Group of Arizona. But, oh happy day and we are here to help; here is a new doc we’ve assigned to you.

Great! Today I finally got off my lazy ass and called New Doc.
“Hello! Welcome to Pediatrics! May I help you?”
oh dear.
“Hi. Well, I was assigned to your office, however I am not not a child so I have a feeling that ya’ll can’t do a whole lot for me.”

So now I start on the path to finding a new doc. Again.
Here we go…
“For service in English, Press 1”

Chapter 4

This was a looooong chapter.
It starts off getting you familiar with directional and positional terms. Then it goes on to cover the systems of the body:
Musculoskeletal, Cardiovascular, Nervous, Digestive, Skin, Endocrine

I’m good with a lot of the information because of my massage therapy training, but I’m starting to wish I’d done this when I was still a younger sponge brain. It’s been so long since I had to really study and memorize, those parts of my brain have atrophied to a degree. Studying hard causes my brain to start to cloud over and get thick. I have to take lots of little breaks. I suppose that like any exercise, the more I do it the better I’ll get. I hope so.

The main difficulty I had yesterday was with the heart.
It’s got four sections:
Right Atrium
Right Ventricle
Left Atrium
Left Ventricle
Blood gets pulled in, blood gets pumped out. There is an exchange of Oxygen and CO2. The Left Ventricle is the strongest part of the heart. And Artery = Away. As in: arteries carry blood away from the heart. And there are a bunch of those suckers. We all know a few of them. Where do you check the pulse? In an adult it’s the Carotid artery; that pulsing one on the neck that sticks out dangerously when you are angry. In a baby you check the Brachial artery on the arm. You all know the Femoral artery. Why? Most likely because it’s in the “groinal region” and made everyone giggle when they were in junior high health class.

There are capillaries, and specialzed muscle tissues just for the heart and veins and little veins called venules and electrical impulses and and and and…

I’m not going to try to describe how the blood flows right now because it’s 7:30 in the morning and I’m still working on my coffee. I’ve drawn pictures of how blood moves from the body, through the heart and back out; I’ve written it all out; I’ve read that section three times… and it still confuses me.
Suffice it to say, I need some help with the heart.