fantasy vs. reality

When faced with fantasy becoming reality, I’ve noticed that a lot of people tend to shy away, at least at first. It seems that there is a fear to getting what you want.

A friend of mine recently bought a motorcycle that he’d been dreaming about getting for many months. One day last week, he idly called the dealership and asked if they happened to have one. He was taken aback when they told him that there was one sitting right there on the showroom floor. When faced with getting what he wanted, he balked… just for a few seconds. Then he pulled out his credit card.

This ‘balking at potentially actually getting what you want’ phenomenon I’ve seen many times. Some people would rather have the fantasy than the reality. Why? Perhaps because the fantasy holds no responsibility or consequence, whereas reality does? Maybe they are afraid that the reality won’t be as good as what they imagined? Maybe they are afraid of change? Maybe they don’t know how to have something good in their life; something they have craved and desired can now be an actuality and they don’t feel they deserve it?

inspiration

“Inspiration” definition includes breathing, creativity, illumination.

I went for a ride yesterday. Clouds spotted the sky, but it was not overcast and the temperatures weren’t above 100F. It was lovely. When I woke up at 06:40 I had little feeling except an awareness that I wanted to be out of my house and on my bike. I put on my leathers and locked the door at 07:10. I knew I needed to eat, but the impulse over-rode my hunger. By 07:15 I was on the highway.

There are days when riding is not for pleasure or for practice, but sheer necessity. Only other motorcyclists understand how helpful being on the bike can be.

I rode north for an hour and a half up curvy mountainy roads. It was beautiful. My head cleared somewhat, but the low rumbling note of the exhaust pipe was conferring no answers.

Inspiration is that unique feeling of a lock and key fitting together, and click… something opens and you draw what feels like the first real breath you have felt in years.

I want to breathe again.

memories of texas

We were in a 1971 Volkswagen Squareback heading west through the hot, dry Texas panhandle. There was no air conditioning in that old car and it had a tendency to overheat, so every so often we’d find some roadside diner in which we refreshed our bedraggled bodies and let the motor cool down.

We would sit in a booth located near the window so had visual on our car that contained all our worldly goods. We were only nineteen and twenty-two, so all our worldly goods still fit into the back of a hatchback car.

The temperature outside was more intense than either of us had ever experienced. We looked out the large glass windows to a barren bending and shape-shifting feverish landscape. We spent our time in the diner drinking iced teas and writing post cards. Since neither of us wanted to venture outside, we took turns running to the blue mailbox that inevitably perched at least fifty feet from the diner’s front door.

It was getting towards dusk and we were approaching Amarillo. The VW was not happy and needed a break. It told us by shutting down. We pushed it into the parking lot of a sad little diner just off the highway. I tried to offer a suggestion as to how we could fix the problem. He got mad at me, at the situation, at the whole damn thing and stomped across the street to a small honky-tonk bar. Since I wasn’t of legal drinking age yet, I couldn’t go. And he took our money with him.

I sat on a concrete parking curb next to our little blue car. We were both in poor shape. The sunset was beautiful over the outline of a distant Amarillo. By the time he returned it was long dark and he was happy on whiskey sours and cheap beer. The car started and we limped to a close-by motel. He fell asleep right away. I lit my ‘nth cigarette in the dark room and wondered why I was still there.