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About james

hoyden will follow the free tendencies of desire hoyden is a pill dropped in a glass of water hoyden is an illusion on a surface of memory hoyden is a finger resting on the controls of a broken machine hoyden turns as she pleases toward all horizons hoyden is perfect sadism, at least as a method hoyden is a beautiful chimera hoyden crouches to intercept shadows hoyden is not in the habit of saluting the dead hoyden will always find buyers hoyden is at most a thinking reed hoyden writes sad and ardent love letters hoyden is a door someone opened hoyden is a dark intention hoyden never waits for itself hoyden leaves an exquisite corpse

history

I have a lot of books.
It’s actually a little ridiculous considering what a nomad I am.
I’ve wondered many times over the years why I lug all these boxes of books around with me from city to city and dwelling to dwelling.

Today I was looking for a specific book to loan to a friend. As I riffled through my collection, up and down my many bookcases, pulling books out and having tactile memories, I realized that at least part of the reason I carry these heavy boxes with me is because each book has a memory attached.
They are familiar and comfortable, but more than that; they are part of my history.

Ever since ‘e-book readers’ came out a number of years ago, there have been on-going discussions about their value and usefulness.
I’ve got a few books on my iPad, and I quite like reading them that way – I have a number of books easily (and lightly) accessible no matter where I am.

However, I will never have the comfort or romance with those e-books that I have with my often beat-up, well-worn, creased, bound paper books.
When I touch an often-read book of mine, I am almost transported back to when that book made its impression upon me.
Did I first read it in a bright and rain-protected cafe over a series of nights in Seattle?
Nestled in British Columbia winter, did I read it while curled up next to the iron fireplace?
Was it one of the many classics handed down from my mom?
I read many childhood books while curled up on the floor, in a corner of bookcases at the local public library or
while lying on the couch at home until it was too dark to read by the ambient light.

My books are a part of my memories.
There are my solace and rescue. They have been my friends and escape.
They are resources and go-to idea generators.

Because of these reasons, I will continue to box up my library and carry them with me from city to city, dwelling to dwelling.

perfection

Last week I had a conversation with a friend about the idea of “perfection.”
He told me, “…know that you are perfect just the way you are!”
I replied “I dunno. If I was perfect there would be no room for growth.”
He responded, “Is not a seed perfect? And yet, it sprouts and is perfect, then it grows and is perfect.”
I thought about it for a while, then said, “but what if the seed is damaged and can not grow?”
“Then it is perfect as it is.”

I bristled a bit and wasn’t sure why.
It took me another day of mulling this over to realize that we had different ideas of “perfect.”
The word, to me, is a judgement.
What is this idea of “perfection?”
Merriam-Webster has it as, “the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects…something that cannot be improved”
Who is to say what is a flaw or defect?

I suppose the basis of the seed concept is the idea of perfection as a “state of completeness”, wherein any state one is in is perfect at the moment.

But I couldn’t shake the thought that perfection is an end.
The etymology of “perfect” = “finished”.
How can a seed grow if it is already perfect?
What more is there when one has achieved perfection?
Change?
But if one is perfect, why change?
And how can one be perfect if one is in constant pain or despair or can not feed oneself?

A few days later I was sorting through some of my books while still mulling this conversation over in my head.
I came across an old hand-bound journal of my dad’s. Curious as to the date, I opened it up to the last entry.

This is what I found:

“Dawn:
I have absolute faith in her.
Tell Dawn that I love her and no need to be
perfect”

dad_journal_perfect

Shake Down Run #2

Shake Down Run #2

Finally had time the other day to pull the carbs apart and see what was inside them.
Wish I had a garage. This working-on-gravel-driveway thing might seem glamorous, but it really isn’t all its cracked up to be.

And my dog wasn’t much help

but, got them dissected

and found that the main jets were 130 and the needles were at third clip

Decided to change out the mains and see what happened.

Didn’t have time until yesterday to track down some jets.
Luckily, I found some 120’s in the next town over. (yay small towns?)

After looking closer at the carbs, saw that one of the gaskets was on upside-down, obscuring a port.
That probably contributed to it’s not running so good the other day!

Got the 120’s in and the carbs back together and on the bike.
While I was in there, I bought a new battery too – having lights is nice.

Test ride time!

WHOO HOOOO! POWERBAND! YEAH!

I had so much fun that I shook a rivet right out!

Luckily, that’s an easy fix.

When I finally got home after a run to dinner and then over to show off to some friends 🙂

I found that my low-beam on the headlight isn’t working, and my tail light isn’t working. The brake light is okay, but the running light is no go.

What now?
Need a front fender or fork brace, tach, prolly need a mirror (legal).
There was something else…but I seem to have forgotten.

Did I mention – WHOOHOOOOO! YEAH! SWEEET! YAY!
:rock:

I was thinking this evening about how wonderful it is to ride something you’ve built.
I mean, I had help from friends (yay friends! holy cow my friends are awesome), but I made this happen.
I created this thing that now transports me! Such a fantastic feeling.