April is the month of my birthday. It is also the month of Passover and it is also the month my dad died.  Now, he will always be 58, but I will keep getting older. At some point, I will be his age. I will be 58 years old. That gets to me.

April is no longer just a celebration happy happy time of my birthday or the gathering that was my father’s favorite holiday. He died just before Passover, so that holiday is now linked with him. My birthday marker is now inextricably tied with my dad’s death day.