saddness and accomplishments

I had a dream last night that I was at some kind of archeological ruin (most likely influenced by all the episodes of “Bones” I’ve been watching through my new Netflix account). There was a large building and I was with a friend. We entered the building and there were lots of tall shelves throughout the room. It ceased to be an archeological ruin and became the old, dark and musty gift shop of a hotel we were staying in. Minus any people or checkout or signs of store-ness. I was looking for a birthday present for my dad. There were a lot of Japanese-looking items; bonzai trees, statues and figurines. I found a planter that I thought he’d like for his bonzai tree, then I looked up and saw a statue similar to a cross-legged Buddha except that I noticed it looked an awful lot like my pop. My friend asked me what I was looking at. I had a moment of exuberance that I’d found a fantastic gift for my dad, then my heart sank like a rock and I started crying with the memory flooding up that he’s dead and getting a gift for him is pointless.

I woke up with tears still in my eyes and missing my dad something fierce.
His birthday is this week and I wish I could give him a present.

Sometimes I feel that everything I’m accomplishing these days is a present to him. I only wish I could tell him about it all.

Today I dead lifted 110 pounds for the first time. Barbell, from the floor. And it wasn’t terribly difficult. This is after only three weeks of training. Last week I was feeling a bit down that I wasn’t making steps forward with this workout. But I’m well on my way to my goal!

Happy birthday, pop.
I’m working towards something great and you would be proud of me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s